Poked and prodded

30 Jun

When I first got to work, I was sure that today’s post would be titled Gay Day at the Fertility Clinic. We spotted two other lesbian couples at the clinic this morning at 7:30 am. I was in for another round of blood work and an ultrasound. But by the time my day was over, all I could think about it how I am sick and tired of being poked and prodded.

This morning started with a nurse taking a vial of blood from my arm and then a technician sticking a probe up my vagina and pressing on my now-enlarged ovaries in an effort to get an accurate follicle count. At 4pm I left work early to go to my acupuncture appointment, where I was pierced with multiple needles in areas that made me jump (this is supposed to relax my system and help with fertility … I am not so sure). Then I got to top all of that off with a two-needles-in-the-belly chaser. By the time this week is over I will have had blood taken three times, had three vaginal ultrasounds, been poked by needles in two acupuncture sessions and self-injected medication into my belly fat 14 times. I also had a massage yesterday where the male therapist worked on my stiff hips and spent most of the time manipulating my ass muscles. Fun times.

No wonder I feel so sore and drained. I am keeping up with a marathon of appointments (thanks to my darling wife and her chauffeuring), most of which involve sticking needles or other foreign objects into my body. Even though everyone I have dealt with has been entirely professional, I am starting to feel somewhat violated. It seems so patently unfair that (many) het couples can get pregnant after a hot session of shagging. My sweetie and I are reliant on a team of doctors, nurses, ultrasound technicians and embryologists.

Still, we are certainly not alone. The clinic was like Grand Central Station this morning. There were a lot of nervous and expectant people there, including a couple of men who were dropping off “samples,” a well-coiffed woman who seemed almost frighteningly composed, a cute genderqueer dyke couple and another sporty lesbian duo. Let’s hope all of us make the journey to parenthood soon.

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