Faint hope

6 Jul

The last two days have been really hard. I had the egg retrieval yesterday at 11am. It was painful. They only got seven eggs — this was very surprising, given that I had at least 15 follicles. It seems that all of the eggs were on my left side, the follicles on the right were empty. The number really concerned me yesterday, because we had no idea how many would be mature and how many would fertilize.

I received a devastating call from our doctor this morning. Six of the eggs didn’t make it. There is one fertilized embryo left and they are going to put it back in tomorrow, if it makes it — a rare 2-day transfer. I am emotionally overwhelmed and pretty shocked. All of the ultrasounds and blood tests leading up to transfer day seemed to indicate that things were going swimmingly. I had no indication that this would happen. My age, my good health and my ovarian reserve led me to believe that everything was okay. Now I wonder if maybe I just don’t produce good eggs. Or maybe this wasn’t the right protocol for me.

I am in a state of anxiety right now. Trying to relax, but terrified that the one little egg won’t make it. If we try again, we have to start from scratch. There will be nothing to freeze. So there goes another $8,000 and weeks of injections, hyper-vigilance, side effects and mood swings. I never thought that I would have to deal with infertility. I always figured I would get pregnant quickly, like the friends around me who seem to be having little trouble.

I am trying to be hopeful that the one embryo will be in good enough shape to transfer tomorrow. But I am wracked with terror that the next call will be from the doctor, telling me that the cycle is cancelled. If I make it to transfer tomorrow, at least the little sucker will have a fighting chance. Keep us in your thoughts.

2 Responses to “Faint hope”

  1. Miela July 7, 2011 at 10:21 am #

    Hi, almost the same thing happened to me on the other side of the globe.I had 15 eggs before ER. They retrieved 15, but only 13 were mature, but out of the 13 only 3 fertilized and then one died. So, we had 2 embryos for ET.

    With my previous ISCI we had no problems with fertilization 17 out of 18 fertilized. So, I am thinking, it might be the protocol. I just can’t believe that all my eggs went south in 6 months time! I was on 75IUI Gonal-F daily for the first week & Femera and only on 75IUI (daily) from the second week. ER was only on day 17. What protocol did your dr. use?

    Good luck with your 2WW. I hope your little embie turns into a beautiful baby.

    • Queer Femme Mama July 7, 2011 at 11:13 am #

      Thanks for your kind words. I did the Agonist Protocol — birth control pills, then Suprefact, then a combo of Suprefact and Puregon. Now I am on Progesterone suppositories three times a day, plus an estrogen supplement twice a day. I was also shocked about the low number of eggs and their poor quality. Maybe it wasn’t the protocol for me, or perhaps they took them out too early. It could have also been a fluke. Who knows? At least we got one great embryo out of it. Let’s hope it decides to stick around!

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