I think I’m out

18 Jul

I spent the better part of yesterday sobbing — even though it was my one-year anniversary with my sweet wife. My ambiguous cramps have turned to unmistakable menstrual cramps. I did a pee test yesterday (10 days post 2-day transfer) and it was negative. I know that it’s still early and that early pregnancy can mimic the symptoms of PMS. But I feel instinctively that it didn’t take. I am so deeply sad about this. My official blood test isn’t until Friday and it will be hard to wait. I have a baby shower to go to tomorrow, but I really don’t think I can face it.

When we started the process of trying to conceive a year ago, I had no idea it would be so hard or so painful. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I feel really fragile and transparent today. Just trying to take deep breaths and make it through.

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