Interrupting the narrative

27 Jul

Stories about healing are usually quite linear. Each day is supposed to get better and lighter. Distance is supposed to make things easier. We are supposed to pull ourselves out of sadness and dust ourselves off and move on. A co-worker actually said, “chin up” to me yesterday. As if this pain is something to be ashamed of.

I really have no idea when I am going to be okay. I don’t know how long it will take to get over the realization that I am not pregnant and I may never be. We will try again, but we will do so with a heavy heart. I can’t imagine it getting much heavier than this.

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One Response to “Interrupting the narrative”

  1. Hazel Ramona July 27, 2011 at 1:24 pm #

    I don’t beleive in linear.
    I think life is more like a spiral, actually. As you move from the centre (the traumatic event, major life experience, birth, etc) you move further away but there cyclicly are times when you come close to the starting point or close to a landmark from your past. You will see the past and feel the energy from the past, and yet you’re always seeing those landmarks from a new angle and getting further away from it. You’re always growing, yet it is your foundation. It becomes less and less a part of your primary identity, but always will be a core part of you.
    (That’s why I have a spiral tattooed on my back.)

    p.s. woo!

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