Another day, another test

3 Aug

Just got back from the fertility clinic, where we went for follow-up blood work to make triple sure that I am absolutely, positively not pregnant. I think I am developing a touch of the PTSD when it comes to that place. I couldn’t get to sleep last night and I woke up with a sense of dread and anxiety in the pit of my stomach. I had a nightmare that involved shouting with the doctor about finances and an even more disastrous egg retrieval that netted me less eggs than the last time around. It’s hard to hold on to hope now that I’ve had a taste of failure. That clinic is like a busy train station at rush hour. I can’t believe how many people are in and out of that place on a daily basis. Makes me wonder whether or not they are able to provide individual care, or if we are just a number — a stain on their otherwise stellar statistics.

And now I wait to find out if everything is okay or if my blood results indicate something I should be concerned about. Next week we meet with out doctor to figure out our next steps. If I had actually succeeded in getting pregnant, this would have been our first ultrasound appointment. Sad.

UPDATE: blood work came back fine. HCG level is back down to nothing. So at least it’s not an ectopic pregnancy. There’s that at least. I hope this means we can start our second cycle ASAP. I am not relishing the thought of going through IVF again, but I would rather do it sooner than later.

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One Response to “Another day, another test”

  1. cathy August 3, 2011 at 11:26 am #

    goooooood luck!

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