Silence

14 Aug

It’s 10:30 am on a Sunday. My wife is fast asleep, after going to bed at 4 am. She is a DJ and played at a wedding last night. I went to bed at midnight and was up by 9 am. I have had the pleasure of lounging in a silent house while she sleeps. I made myself coffee and eggs. I read a couple of blogs. I am contemplating heading to the farmer’s market before I wake my wife and we meet some friends for dim sum. This afternoon, we will do the grocery shopping, go to the gym, cook and make-out. With grad school done, my non-working hours are completely unburdened. My chief concern these days is how many exercise sessions I can fit in amid a hectic and rich social schedule.

This is what life was like when my wife and I first started dating. Before I decided to do my MA part-time while working. Before we embarked on a year of fertility treatments, clinic visits, injections and two-week waits. It’s comforting to know that we will become parents some day, one way or another. But perhaps the universe has aligned things, so we have no choice but to enjoy this unburdened period of childlessness for a while longer.

When we first started trying to get me pregnant, I figured I would finish my MA course work while pregnant and write my thesis while on mat leave. It was a ridiculous plan and in many ways I am glad it didn’t work out that way. Life is much less of a juggle these days. We hope to replace this silence and stillness with early morning wake-ups, baby giggles, trips to the museum and epic fort-building contests in the middle of our living room. But for now, it’s nice to feel like evenings and weekends are wide open.

My grad school graduation is at the end of October. I sincerely hope that I am pregnant by then. It would be so cool to graduate with a little one in utero. But the reality is that I have no idea what the next few months or years are going to bring.

In the meantime, I am going to wake my sleepy wife and start our day.

 

 

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