Hormone rage

12 Oct

I’m afraid I was uber cranky with my sweet wife this morning, over a small miscommunication on when she was going to drive me to work. Ultimately a silly, inconsequential argument. But I am having trouble letting go of my frustration. I do believe that this is my first hormone-induced rage of this IVF cycle. Not bad, all things considered.

I have been waking up suddenly at 2:30 in the morning for the last two days. This morning, it took me an hour to fall back asleep. I had vague cramps and pressure in my uterus/lower back. I spent the hour trying to determine if this was implantation cramping or PMS. Of course, there is no way of knowing. And every single cycle where I have imagined symptoms so far has ended in disappointment.

I guess I’m finally starting to feel the full range of emotions about this cycle. I am beyond sunny optimism and am now trying to prepare myself for the worst, just in case. I am also pretty weary. It’s been a rollercoaster of medical interventions, injections, anticipation and hope. And I am taking it easy and holding off on the gym for another week or so, which means that I haven’t been able to access my usual outlet for frustration.

I sure hope this works. That is all.

3 Responses to “Hormone rage”

  1. cathy October 12, 2011 at 7:23 am #

    feel free not to answer this question, but are you on hormones by prescription? they’ve had me on estradiol and endometrin and i am, for me, very emotional lately. and cranky, sometimes, not proud of it. here’s hoping the cramps are a good sign. 🙂

  2. Queer Femme Mama October 12, 2011 at 7:26 am #

    I am only on endometrium — apparently my estrogen level was stable enough post-retrieval, so they didn’t need to supplement. But all of that extra progesterone does do funny things to the system. Does your clinic supplement after your positive beta? Mine doesn’t.

  3. cathy October 13, 2011 at 9:26 am #

    i’m not sure when i’ll go off them, but we’ll see…

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